Reih7’s Weblog

I *will* die of lonliness.

Nights are the worst (an overused and very true cliche). You sit here with the lights on and the TV blaring to pretend it’s not that bad. You find things to keep you busy: 7:00pm: Work on chart review project. 8:00pm: Heat up dinner, 9:00pm: Write.

But at 10:00pm I’m still alone, worried about about my health and interviews and wondering what the hell happened to my life. I watch TV and attach emotions to the actors then get sad and pissed when I remember it’s not real.

If I see an interesting looking guy on the steet I’ll build lifetimes around the incidence, dreaming up what we’d say to each other, what would make us laugh, how it would feel to wake up next to something other than my teddybear.

It’s late and I haven’t slept more than 5 hours for many, many days. I’m dizzy fro exhaustion and still I’m sitting here because going to slepe is just…going to sleep. Alonely. Again.

Nice.

I’m fucked.